just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
