bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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