How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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