I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
FUCK WHALES
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
