I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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