I wish I could teleport
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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