Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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