Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
