She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
