its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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