the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
