Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
