Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
