When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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