is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
