Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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