I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
