its not stalking. its research.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
