I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I think my moral compass just broke
Someone signed my nipple.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
