From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
