I think im going to throw up on grandma
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
