THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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