very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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