Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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