I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
