i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
