never play flip cup with pint glasses
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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