Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
