Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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