i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
