I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
