Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
