woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
