3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
