He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
