I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
