do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
two words: eviction party
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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