New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
