how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
