I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
