They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
