He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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