before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
