dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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