but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
