Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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