so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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