this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
