i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
