come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
